Matthew, a young, but clear faced teenaged is addressing his peers and standing on the bench of a local ice cream parlor.
OK guys, thanks for seeing me here. I know the Frosty Freeze isn’t the best place to meet but my Mom is doing holiday shopping next door and she’s my ride.
I know what you’re all thinking. We don’t need to do this. Well, we do. We are fifteen years old and the time has come for us to become men.
No more playing with action figures. Yes, I know it will be tough but the rewards will be awesome. I mean, who wouldn’t want to trade their super-chopping action hero for a drivers license? Or pass on our warrior quest cards to our younger siblings for a date with Chelsea Quinn from homeroom! It’s time to start acting our age, friends.
Let me tell you the good news though! This is only temporary. We can collect our action figures and hero cards when we hit our mid life crisis. Men all over the world are doing it! Just the other day I saw a vintage pocket monster card on Ebidz.com so I know that we are not alone. YOU are not alone. Because anytime we feel the urge to buy the latest Spaceborg Power Blaster, just know how much cooler it will be to kiss Chelsea Quinn. By the way, I am only using her as an example for this scenario. We all know that she let me borrow a pencil last week so we are basically on the fast track to love.
So boys..ahem..MEN! Let’s drop our plastic toys and pick up our newfound freedom. Who’s with me!
(The crowd cheers)
Now, who can give me a ride home? My mom just texted me and said she’s gong to be running late and I don’t want to walk home alone, it’s scary.